Rites of Passage

This week's blog challenge:

• rite of passage  1.Anthropology. a ceremony performed to facilitate or mark a person's change of status upon any of several highly important occasions, as at the onset of puberty or upon entry into marriage or into a clan.2.any important act or event that serves to mark a passage from one stage of life to another. Write about a rite of passage. It can be your own experience or someone else's. It can be an event that you're anticipating, or one you're anticipating for your child. It can be a long forgotten memory, a touching ancedote, or a funny story.There are so many many rites of passage in this life - your first kiss, learning to ride without training wheels, noticing your first gray hair, standing up to your Mom as an adult, cooking for the new inlaws for the first time.... Think about it, and have fun writing!

Last year I became the first mom in my circle of friends to have BOTH boys in school full time. Oh sure, I have a couple friends ahead of me in this parenting process, so yes, I wasnt' really THE FIRST mom ever to be in this situation. But in my immediate see every day friends, I was the first to cross into this long anticipated land of being home alone during the day.

It is what us stay at home types look forward to for so long. Like becoming tenured or earning that prized 5th week of vacation in the working world. We dream about "when they are both in school" what we will do...how our lives will change, and we'll find that state of perfection we all seem to think is possible...Once they are in School...

And so how was it? Well, for starters there was a bit of "is this it?" I really thought those first free hours that came when the youngest one goes to school for only a couple hours every other day made me more giddy. Perhaps because that alone time was such a precious commodity and came at a time when the boys were still very needy. I definitely made good use of my 1.5hrs of free time, 2 days a week. Maybe even better use of that time than I did when I had all day with not a lot on the agenda.

Then came the sadnesss and reality that I don't get to see my boys during their peak times. I got the sloppy seconds: the groggy "we don't want to go to school" mood of the morning coupled with the after school fatigue driven meltdowns. That made me appreciate what Hubby had commented on at various times in the past. We don't get to see the boys at their happiest points. Instead we see them coming or going.

I found myself lonely and yet had no one really to complain to. My working outside of the home friends could get the part of only seeing glimpses of our kids during the day, but they wouldn't be able to relate to the sense of isolation that the SAHM feels when all her kids are in school. My friends still with little ones at home wouldn't want to listen to me whine about being lonely when they were knee deep in potty training and temper tantrums. Had I complained, they all would have had every right to say "get a life!".

And so, that's what I did. I got a life. I now work part time outside of the home. Yes, it is not a very good paying gig, but you reach that point in your life where you recognize it isn't just $ that makes a job a good one. Other little things factor in, and thus my part time job as a TA has all those extras even if the pay rate is far lower than what I could make in my trained profession (RN/NP).

So, with most rites of pasage, there is a mixture of stuff that happens. Some good, some bad. But as you move through it all, you can actually learn a thing or two about what makes you tick and what makes you happy. I'm still learning but feeling good about the lessons I've learned and the actions I've taken since passing into this next stage of mommyhood.