Thankful for...Day 4

Today I am thankful for Facebook. I know, how lame is that.
However, one of the back-to-work adjustments I'm still working through is finding balance. I'm a very social creature and enjoy my "girlfriend" time. Yet, I can't make weekly coffee group. I'm often too tired to get together on a 'school night' and after talking to some 70+ teenagers all day, most days I'm all talked out.

But facebook allows me to jump in and see what others have been up to. My friend list include neighbors, family and even a few co-workers (both past and present). I can hear how my friends are doing and share a laugh or two...all from the comfort of my couch.

And being a Martha...being in touch is rather important.

Thankful for...Day 3

that chilled bottle of Riesling and my sweet hubby for pouring me a cold one.

The good news? It was a fabulous day at work. Kids were pleasant, only one was high (and he was remorsefully high..."Oh no, what's this gonna to do my mama?" he kept saying over and over. The mama in me was touched...yet wondered, if you love your mama so much, why'd you smoke the weed AT school while wearing your ankle-bracelet from juvie?)

The bad news? My much loved, well trained, trusted and loyal assistant resigned. Her hubby got a job out of state. My principal just laughed when I suggested she telecommute...but come on, we could make it work...got skype?

So with the help of the Riesling, I'm coming to terms with the reality that it is back to the drawing board in terms of finding an assistant.

Thankful for...Day 2

Excedrin migraine....
(hey, I didn't promise award-winning entries on a daily basis)

Thankful for...Day 1

For the past two years, I've challenged myself to blog daily during the month of November. Now that I'm working full time, I've tossed around the idea as to whether I am up for such a challenge. In the end, yes, I need to give it a try.

So, here ya go...day #1.

Today I am thankful for my job. A year ago, I was working on my return to the work force. I was filled with a full range of emotions. Could I handle it? What type of nursing did I want to do? Would I remember how to be a nurse?

This year? I've got a job that I really enjoy. Sure, some days I'm more exhausted than others. Who wouldn't be...when you factor in that I haven't worked full time in almost 14 years. It's been a huge adjustment for all of us.

But even at the end of a long day, I'm grateful for this job...for the many ways it has enriched me on a personal level, for the ways it has relieved some financial worries for our family, and well...for just being the right fit for me.

Bye Bye Timeshare..

Poor Hubby....first I put his bachelor couch on the curb (1997: it didn't match the decor). Next I sent his poor kitty off to the dumb friends league (1999: hey, the cat nipped at me and soiled my new-match-the-decor couch). Oh, and somewhere in there, I also found a way to get rid of his Italian bedroom furniture (hello: European sizes meant we could not find a replacement mattress for it) and his kitchen table (glass top+children= HELLO?)

And today? I managed to give away his timeshare..

Miles, circa 2002, Lawrence Welk Resort, Escondido, CA

And folks wonder why I encourage the motorcycle habit.

Guilty Conscience, I suspect

Hilton Grand Vacation Club, Orlando FL, 2007

But seriously, it is a day to celebrate. We were able to donate the timeshare to charity. A fee was involved (which sort of set of my radar for scams) but that fee was about 1/2 of what we pay each year in maintenance dues/RCI dues/Exchange fees.

Miles at the spa in Pagosa Springs Wyndham Resorts

Without a doubt, we have some wonderful memories of vacations spent "at the time share".

But the idea that now we plan our vacations based on where we want to go, when we want to go, not where there is an RCI opening? See...it needed to go, right?

Track Off Tales

Thing Two is off track. Both myself and hubby have been working (though Hubby was able to arrange a few work-from-home days). I offered this kid a variety of opportunities to do stuff with some of the local "off track" facilities. He wrinkled up his nose, convinced he wanted to be home alone. I figured he'd soon discover how boring this was and be a willing attendee. You know, natural consequences.

My plan? Has failed miserably. This kid not only enjoys being home, he's showing me in little ways just how responsible he can be when faced with a challenging situation.

• First call came in earlier in the week, when he calmly announced "This is not a big emergency Mom, but um, I can't seem to get my finger unstuck". "Unstuck from WHAT I ask" (and yes, my voice cracked a little, just ask my co-worker who was trying hard not to giggle). "Well, you know that metal loop thing at the end of the saucepan". "yes?"..."Well, I can't get my finger out...oh wait...never mind...it's out...Bye!"
• Next time, I pick up the phone and the little voice on the other end tells me 'the good new is, it didn't start a fire". Again, my voice cracks as I attempt to remain calm with my questioning. Turns out, Thing Two tried to fix some lunch (ramen noodles) and got distracted (big surprise, NOT). He soon discovered that water is a critical addition to the successful preparation of Top Ramen.
• The final heart-stopping event was Thursday. I walked in the house soon after the Ramen incident, to discover this brave Thing standing by the back screen door, wimpy fly swatter in hand. As he tries to take on the dozen or so wasps that had flown into the kitchen when he put the scorched pan on the back porch. Good for him (and for my overall health) that the wasps this time of year are very weak (most have died off as the weather is getting cold at night) and thus were already near death as this boy tried to single-handedly fight them all off.

I have to admit...he's done really well and seems very proud of himself for having survived this experience. As for me, well...let's just say I really wish he'd have been bored.

If it looks like a duck

Today, "Skippy" comes in (yes, Skippy of the Fire Alarm fiasco, not his real name, but trust me, close enough). With his always-worried TA (she's the type that would hear hoof beats and go looking for zebras. You know what I'm talking about). "He's just SOOO tired" she tells me. "And he's shaking....see????" (all I noticed was a young man, granted a bit tired looking, but looking just like he has all the other times I've seen him. many fries short of a full happy meal)

She then whispers "do you think he took something, you know, drinking or maybe even d.r.u.g.s.?" (yes, I kid you not, she spelled it out...'cuz Skippy can't spell. And never mind the fact that since the Alarm Fiasco, he's under direct adult supervision all school day).

I ask: "Skippy, why are you so sleepy today?"
"Well, Ms. Chang, it's because I didn't go to bed last night. See, I just can't turn off Cartoon Network. ESPECIALLY when Scooby Do is on. "

I'm sorry but all we have here is a sleepy child....whose parents might want to consider setting a timer on the t.v. (trust me, they make such things...just ask the Things in our house).

And as for the "what not to say at a 504 meeting"....if you are giving your child pain pills from YOUR stash, it's probably not a good idea to admit that to a room full of mandatory reporters...just sayin'...

If you name your child Skippy*

Do not be surprised, when he's 17, you receive a phone call from the school informing you that he has just pulled the fire alarm.

which resulted in the evacuation of some 2400 students and staff, right in the middle of first lunch period. Yeah, those poor kids who had life guard training were not a happy bunch to be standing outside in not much more than their suits and flip flops.

And yes, for the record, Skippy is cognitively impaired and had only recently earned the privilege to go to lunch without direct supervision. Um, not any more

(*and yes, I have changed Skippy's name...in case for some remote reason, his parents found out I was blogging about him. Suffice to say, his given name is equally amusing and would result in a "somehow I'm not as surprised as I should be" giggle. Just ask Colleen-O or Mrs. Zimmer).

Tune in later...when I share the "what not to say at a 504 meeting"......

Power of the Peppermint

Today I had a meeting to attend. My new (and fabulous) health tech was holding down the fort. One of our frequent fliers came in reporting a tummy ache. She tossed him a peppermint and sent him back to class (see, I told you she was good).

Not long after this...we hear a radio call looking for Peppermint Boy. Seems he was AWOL.
We reported that no, we were not harboring this fugitive and the security team went searching for him.

Next thing I know, Peppermint Boy is back in our clinic. Only this time he is escorted by the Dean. Sure 'nuf, Peppermint Boy is higher than a kite. Seems he had a different idea on what would settle his upset tummy.

Open Letters

Dear Cowards:
No, we haven't forgotten. 9 years later, and the horror of that day lives on in our memories. Not only will we never forget, I will never forgive.
Proud Patriot


Dear Helicopter Mom
I'm so sorry that "someone" forgot to take the medicine out of your daughter's back pack. I hope by "someone" you really mean your daughter. Because, I've got 2399 other little darlings to worry about. I don't inspect the backpacks. That's the Dean's job. And trust me, he ain't looking for what your daughter is packing!
Weary School Nurse

Good Afternoon Mrs. Germaphobe
I'm so sorry to hear that Princess has strep. You say she caught it on the bus? Oh my bad, here I thought it was from the boy I saw her kissing last week. Sure, I can let the bus driver know she needs to disinfect her ride. But let's just be clear, if Princess ends up preggers, you probably might want to re-think my "germ theory".
Nurse Blunt

Brought to you by the letter F

Today's entry is sponsored by the letter F...

Family: here we are, helping Janet and Oscar celebrate their wedding.

And Foolishness...

Foolishness is not limited to my Teen Thing.

Friday...where does one begin? With the young lady who came into the clinic, throwing up again. This marked the 3rd time in a week that she presented with such symptoms. I asked that touchy question "do you think you could be pregnant?" NO WAY, she replied, I can prove it. She apparently had just had a battery of blood tests done that ruled our pregnancy but confirmed chlamydia. "Do you think my medicine for my chlamydia is making me sick?

Fire Drills: should be a fun time, right?

Breaks up the routine of the day. Get outside and enjoy some fresh air on a cool morning?

Nope...soon after they made the all clear sign, security escorted the wounded to me.

Seems two boys decided that being outside,surrounded by peers and every administrator on campus, was a great time to have a fist fight. The kid with the split lip and the emerging black eye? Got hit by the kid with just one arm.

(seriously? you can't make this stuff up).

Fried

Ah, lunch time...business is usually pretty slow in the nurse's office.

Not so today. Apparently, Wendy's was serving up something "special". Or so one of our regulars wanted us to believe. She was escorted to my clinic by the Deans. She stunk...yeah...THAT type of smell. She looked at me all dazed and confused

"Honest Miss, We went to Wendy's and someone else in the car smoked the pot"

Now granted, I've never smoked, pot or cigs...but it seems to me that of all the drugs out there,

pot is the one substance best enjoyed with others. You mean to tell me she smoked and didn't share? I find that impossible to believe.

The truth?

Was in her eyes, her smell and the fact that when asked to close her eyes and touch her nose

She missed...by quite a bit At this point, I lost it, and laughed..

This is the same young lady who last Spring also made a visit to my office. That time she admitted to having smoked some stuff. But, in her defense, well, it was her Mama's medicinal marijuana and Mama was in the hospital and thus getting the good stuff. She didn't want it to go to waste. Again, being a novice on this whole topic of pot, I didn't think weed "went bad".

These kids?

Do they really think we are that stupid?

Apparently so.

So now you can understand why this weekend,

I'm just resting, relaxing and re-grouping...

For the fun that awaits me when I return to work on Tuesday!

What not to say...the school nurse edition

I may not hold as much power as some folks do in the high school hierarchy (office ladies and building engineers probably tie for the win in that category), but I do have some "pull". So, here's a brief crash course of What Not to Say when you need something from the nurse

• Never should you start the conversation with "My daughter is a cheerleader". First of all, I wasn't nor do I care that she is a cheerleader (though the Big Cheese boss was, but that's not the reason I respect her leadership style). But, seriously, in my years of medical work, never has cheerleader been a major factor in any health related concern. When the mom continues on to state that Princess is passing out and needs to be able to bring a snack into the classroom, along with maybe some juice, I stop the mom right there. "I'll be happy to provide some sort of pass and note to the teachers if you can submit a note from her doctor that these things are medically indicated". Mom of course notes that well "they don't really know why she is doing this, so there isn't a diagnosis". Oh, I can help out with that part...perhaps it is because SHE"S A CHEERLEADER?!
• Never should you start the conversation with "Well, I got my lip pierced yesterday". OK, if it is before class, during lunch or your off period, I might be willing to help you out. Last time I checked, body piercings of all types were elective. Elective means you don't need to miss class to get a bag of ice...and certainly not when you have had the previous 90 minutes off and never felt the need to come get some ice during your time.
• Never should you claim to not have the funds to purchase "girl stuff" (it's only a quarter, and you've come in for the past 3 days without the quarter) and then immediately start to diss my selection of "stuff". Seriously? If you don't like what we've got, then perhaps bring your own (um, hello, this wasn't a Mother Nature surprise...Day 3 sistah...see that big backpack you've got? Am quiet certain there is room for one tiny kotex in there).

As you can see, we're back in school mode. In case you ever wondered, no...there is little if any "honeymoon period" to the foolish side of school nursing.

Delayed

Thing Two goes to middle school right next door to my school. His day ends about 15 minutes after our high schoolers get out. The plan is that he is to come to my office and then we head home together.

This afternoon, he struts into my clinic, grinning from ear to ear saying "I'm sorry I was late, Mom...but I was delayed"

"Delayed?" I asked "by what?"

"The CHEERLEADERS!" he proudly announced.

Ego tripping

It started when they invited me to join them for lunch...yeah, the cool kids let me in on where they all sit and eat lunch together. I hear that previous nurse NEVER reached this status with the office team.

Now today, I arrived to find a very sick teacher, surrounded by some concerned co-workers and administrators. We quickly sent her off to urgent care, when I remarked "my guess is it is kidney stones".

Sure enough, later on the boss lady comes to tell me "you were right, it was kidney stones". She was gushing in her praise of my assessment.

They think I'm a genius...oh my, it really does pay to be the only medical type in the building. Because seriously? it's a rather n0-brainer if it presents in a typical fashion.

Oh well...I'll gladly take another hit to the ego...
Yep, it's been a good week (even if I'm exhausted from sorting through thousands of pieces of paper without a tech to help me stay sane...)

You like what?

Driving with the Things this morning, the Teen-thing randomly blurts out "I like porn"

What? I try to remain calm...remember, this is the quirky Thing...things aren't always as they seem.

I replied with a "What did you say?"
He must have realized he goofed up as he quickly added "Oh, I meant I like the word porn".

"Now, son, what are you talking about?" (getting a little more worried where this conversation is headed)

Blushing he said," You know pictures of the girls".
heart starting to race a little faster, stay calm, don't frighten him off

"With or without clothes?" I cautiously ask

"Eww, Mom, that's gross...why would anyone like to look at pictures of girls without their clothes on?"

Ah...that's the answer I needed to hear. Crisis averted!

Career "firsts"

You'd think after working as a nurse on/off for 23 years, there would be few "firsts" still be experienced. I remember the first time the doctors ended up being younger than me. I remember the first time I had a male boss (nursing is still a mostly female profession, even military health care). And there were of course all the other standard nursing firsts: your first successful IV start on the first stick, your first med error (you will make one, it is only a matter of time), and of course your first patient death (which for me was followed by another death the next day, and two more the day after. Death does not come in just threes when you work on a geriatric medical surgical unit in the days before Hospice).

What's left? Well, my school boss...is a former cheerleader. Never would I have seen that coming. Nursing people tend to have been band geeks, or science freaks. Maybe a couple of us went out for a sport or two. But typically cheerleaders just aren't drawn towards blood and other bodily fluids.
And tonight is my other first....I have to attend a meeting at the school. The "all coaches" call. Yeah, me Miss non-sports fan sitting in a room full of jocks. But, we all need to know about the plans for rapidly responding to possible head injuries...so off I'll go.

And to think that a team meeting is going to result in my missing Back-to-School night for the younger Thing. Never would I have predicted that...there is indeed...always a first!

The truth is in the laundry...

Everyone warned me. Boys and their desire to bathe will diminish during the tween-teen years.
No, not Thing One. He loves his showers and his baths.

Um, yeah...even he has fallen off the shower wagon.

How did I discover it?
Folding laundry, I counted 7 pairs of boxers for the Hubby and 7 for the younger thing.

Anyone want to guess how many of Thing One's shorts I found?
TWO...two pairs....

Dude, take a shower...AND change your briefs!
Girls don't like a stinky boy...nor does your mama.

A new week

And a new set of adventures to be had.

For starters, you could say we were
Transformed by Chicago...

Nah, we just stumbled upon the filming of Transformers 3

Can you guess which Thing was most jazzed by this unexpected finding?

We found our way to the giant kidney bean...

Found ourselves being overwhelmed by all that the Museum of Science and Industry had to offer..

Next up...was the trip to the Top...

Where even the teen Thing went out on the ledge...

So, now we're on to a new day...
With the first stop, Soldier's Field
(sorry, no Bears were spotted)

We'd heard this place held a surprise or two...

Hello SUE!

So shy around cameras...

My turn to choose:

Another unexpected discovery..
(yes, he managed to fit his entire body in that box)

No rest of for the weary...
We're off to the Pier and some fireworks

And finally...we're almost ready to head home..
But first, let's kill some time with the critters at
the Lincoln Park Zoo

If you don't have girl Things, then the only shop on Michigan Ave.
worth stopping at is

And that folks, is a wrap...
Chicago is indeed a fabulous family friendly destination to check out!

All in a week

So, last week we started out with this:Lining up for our Bike Parade


Pie Eating Contest

Can you guess who the winner was?
Despite the fun of the Fourth, the younger Thing was a tad jealous of his brother's new

Birthday Lego set.

When I suggested we sort the giant tub of mismatched parts

Well, you can see we were able to turn that frown upside down...

Celebrating both America's Birthday and the Thing becoming a teen

was not to mark the end of the week of fun

We attempted to infuse some education into the week...

But countless other families apparently had the same idea so we headed off for a picnic

Which included rock climbing

And some unplanned water fun...

Still not ready to call it a wrap, I loaded up just my Things and we headed for...

Hubby and the Russian Bride joined us as well...

The teen Thing fussed but at one point in the car ride up Trail Ridge road,

I heard him talking to the trees:

"Down in front, you trees! You are blocking my view!

See, I knew I just needed to get him unplugged for a wee bit...

I even made us all get out of our vehicles and we hiked to Alberta Falls.

Hold the applause, I suggested we take the short cut back that included a shuttle ride to the trail head.

I decided enough...Super Mom was hanging up her cape...
With one last parting shot for the blog.

*Keep this foolishness up, and I'll need to go back to work to REST!*

A perfect day

Not every day is perfect. But yesterday? Came about as close as you can ask for.

13 years before, Thing One made his entry into the world. At 0304 to be exact. Yesterday, he made a quite entry into the Teen Era. Yes, I said quiet. Hard to imagine if you have ever met this Thing in real life.

His birthday requests were equally low-key. He wanted a new lego set. He wanted chicken for breakfast. And he wanted to go for a motorcycle ride with his dad.

Ah, if only he'd bless us with such simple requests throughout the teen years.

Heavy rains on the 4th meant the neighbors played with their "illegals" on the 5th. Fireworks on his birthday after all! Way cool!

Hey, a girl can always hope, right?

But knowing that isn't possible, instead I shall savor the sweetness that was yesterday...his first day as a teenager!