Easter reflections

 No matter how long the winter, Spring is sure to follow....Proverb

This winter was long.  Oh no, not in terms of weather.  That was mild.  But the heartache and sadness we all experienced with the passing of Judy....well, that made for a pretty rough winter.

As Easter approached, I really struggled with how I wanted to spend the day.  For the past 12 years, Judy, Eric and their girls joined us here at the House of Chang for a feast.  We always took the time to celebrate.  Should I continue that tradition, knowing that one very important person was not with us this year?  Or, do I use this opportunity to start a new tradition?  Would Eric and the girls want to join us?  This would be the "first" of a year of firsts for them.  

But, in the end, I decided to continue on....with a few changes.

  

 The boys, at 12 and 14 were a huge help in terms of helping get things ready.  My car remains in the shop, which leaves us with NO car.  How do you get groceries home for a meal for 24 people with just a scooter?  Well, you turn to your family for help.  The boys met me at the grocery store with the wagon and hauled the bulky stuff home.  Dom took the rest home in the side car.   I laughed to myself thinking Judy surely would be proud to see us "going green".

Thing Two took care of the cookies, snickering that "With the bow tie on this one, he looks more like the Playboy bunny" (and while I don't have a picture, I too am wondering how does this child know about such things?)

We had to color eggs...for the first time in many years.  I tried many Easters ago to make hard boiled eggs.  I seriously over-cooked the eggs and they turned green.  Not a big deal, since I don't really care for them in the first place I just wouldn't bother coloring eggs.   But, younger Thing LIKES hard boiled eggs.  In years' past, that too was not a big deal as "his Judy" took care of him, bringing over a carton filled with hard boiled eggs just for him.    This year, I managed to cook the eggs "just right" and thus there were no green eggs served with the ham.

 Our driveway was jam packed with cars, so the neighbors were kind enough to let the boys shoot hoops on their driveway.

 In an effort to get guests to sit (instead of the usual habit of standing for hours on end), we cleaned up the garage and had seating for all outside.  

 Vannie took  over the Lish Family tradition of making the bunny cake.

 And at just shy of 1 year old, Cassidy reminded us all that "firsts" aren't always sad occasions.  This marked her first Easter.

So, while we were missing our dear friend Judy, we are moving forward....and celebrating Easter in our traditional style was indeed the right thing to do!

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.                                                Anne Bradstreet

PS:  a final note about the flowers in the top picture.  Those are from MY yard.  Yes, me the brown-thumbed Martha finally had a flower or two to pick from the garden.  I planted the tulips several years ago, but every year either the neighborhood rabbits got to them or a snow storm crushed them before they had a chance to bloom.  This year, they bloomed.  Sometimes our reminders that it will be OK are as simple as the blooming of a tulip.

Since I've been gone....

 It seems like forever since I  have properly updated the blog....so here is a little glimpse of what has been happening since I've been neglecting the blog.

The oldest Thing learned to shave.  He had that perpetual dirty lip appearance that drove me crazy.











And of course, with so much laughter happening in the bathroom, the younger Thing wanted to join in on the fun.  Ok, so his facial hair was visible only with a high powered microscope.  Shhhh....don't tell him that it really wasn't necessary.













And now that they are all clean shaven, they are ready for their first communion.  Youngest Thing wanted seconds, Oldest Thing forgot to grab the grape juice option and the look on his face was priceless.  (doubtful he's going to be a "red wine" guy for a real long time)

I took a little road trip to see a kid in college. That's Judy's middle daughter for those who don't recognize Allie.

 I took her a care package of college essentials:  mac n cheese, ramen noodles, tequila and toilet paper (to name just a few of the items that I pulled together).  What made her happiest?  The toilet paper of course (some things never change)

Youngest thing participated in the District's annual String-a-thon.  Some 300+ middle school musicians gathered to perform.  It was a competition style performance:  in order to play the piece, you had to pass the test.  Out of 10 levels, Thing Two reached level 9!  And for my moment of mommy bragging, might I add that he was only one of 2 sixth graders from his school that reached this level.  

Hubby's rig is still being repaired.   So, I did what any supportive (and slightly enabling) wife does...I talked him into buying a new side car.

Meet Valencia....she's a 2011 URAL and a welcome member to our family.  

And I've read a good book.  

Have you ever wondered what happened to Hester when she went back to England?  Well, this historical fiction written by a Colorado author (a teacher who has spent many years teaching The Scarlet letter) does a wonderful job of creating a story that makes you appreciate the challenges that Hester and her daughter Pearl faced as they returned to England.  

If you like historical fiction, this one is well written.  

I've gotten hooked on a new show.  Ok, make that two new shows.    Gotta love Hulu Plus for when you get hooked on a show mid-season.

I watched my friend B.  go for a spin.  This young lady has started to walk after having some major medical events happen a few years ago that took away her ability to walk and talk.

Lest you ever think that our severely impacted student population does not make progress, this young woman is out to prove us wrong.

Go, B, Go!!!

Hubby and I learned what "Winter Percussion" is all about as we enjoyed watching our friend Vannie perform with the Raptors.

Oh my, this is SO not the marching band that I participated in!








And speaking of our friend, here she is again at her Senior Recital.    Vannie is Judy's youngest daughter and attends a Denver School of the Arts (Think FAME:  the Rocky Mtn. Edition)

She has specialized in the tuba and what an impressive performance.

I never realized that the tuba could go solo and sound so good!


So that about wraps up all that is new in our world.

Spring Break started Saturday....a week with nothing that needs to be done and all week to get it done!

Gotta love being a school nurse....Spring Break, Snow Days and Summers Off are three of my favorite things about being a nurse in the school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah....I like the kids too!

It would be nice....

It would be nice..if I could write a blog entry all about the amusing things that have been happening around our house.   But try as I might, I can't really find a funny way to write about my hubby's motorcycle mishap on Friday.  Sure, I can find the silver lining:  that he was able to drive away from the scene physically intact and ready to return to his passion without much more than a sigh and a prayer of thanks "That was a close call".

But amusing?  No that's not possible because there really is nothing funny about a driver who was more focused on her phone call and getting to work on time than making sure that lane she was headed towards was open.

It would be nice if I could write a blog entry about all the amusing things that have been happening at work.
But again, is it funny that two kids jumped another student and he ended up with a concussion.  His crime?  Apparently, he dissed their cousin.  Or some other he-said-she-said-they got mad incident.    Nor is it funny that one of our students has apparently been selling his prescription pain medications to underclassmen.  He picked some of our most vulnerable students.  I think that was the part I found most unsettling.    Sure, again I can find the silver lining that the medication he was pedaling is not as dangerous as many other drugs out there and that the kids should all be OK and he's off to jail.  But it still just bugs me that this stuff happens in the first place.

Instead, I'll have to look to my Things for my source of amusement.  But there is nothing funny that my youngest  son is now tall enough to not only notice that my roots are showing but that he's outspoken enough to tell me "Mom, it's time that you call Jane, I can see your roots".  

What is the silver lining in this?  Well, there is hope that while Thing Two has little concern for his own personal grooming habits, he is worried about his mama looking older than her stated age.

I suppose some days....it really is the silver lining that gives you the umph to get out there and face the challenges that the new day presents.

Recipe for a great weekend..

Take one job that includes "snow days" and add a Thursday night-all day Friday snow storm.
And Voila...you've got a 3 day weekend that has been very much enjoyed by all of us here at the House of Chang.

18-20 inches of snow is no big deal when you've got a snow blower to help do the job.  Hubby not only did our drive way but he also helped out the neighbors.  Yep, we've got the clearest cul de sac in the 'hood.

The boys took off for the hill that is within walking distance and spent several hours in the cold.  They only came home after Mama called and said "enough!"

 I took to the craft room and made a few cards...using my stash.  Pretty proud of myself to have created 6 cards out of one forgotten sheet of stickers.

 Stewie...back in the garage you go....you aren't made for this kind of weather..

Celebrating their first communion last night at church....

 Yep, I'd say it has been a very good weekend!  Hope yours was as well!

Lessons Learned

The waiting ended on Saturday, January 14th.  In the early hours of the morning, Judy lost her battle with cancer.  This past week has actually been one of quiet calmness as we all knew what came next.  The funeral was Friday, a packed house on a warm sunny Colorado day.

And now I find myself reflecting on some lessons I have learned through this experience.  I'm sure the list will continue to grow in the months that follow.  But, in the moment, here is a start.

1.Stay in touch.
In the year before Judy got sick, both she and I found ourselves seeing less and less of each other.  No, we hadn't had a falling out or anything dramatic.  Nope, it was as simple as the kids got older, the schedules got fuller and we just sort of drifted apart.  As I look back on the past 8 months, I was able to re-connect with an old friend.  And yet, even that was bittersweet.  As a nurse, it was only natural that I played the "what if" game of being an early detector.  What if we had been together more in those months leading up to her illness, would I have sensed her health was more compromised and pushed her to go see the doctor sooner?  I know that the What if game  really doesn't get you  anywhere...so  instead, I shall focus on the importance of staying in touch.  Make time for coffee with friends, drop in unannounced (as I used to do but had gotten out of the habit), make those ritual  summer trips back to Wisconsin to see friends and family.    If face-to-face contact isn't always realistic, at least stay in touch through other means.   Email, phone calls, facebook:  use what you've got but stay in touch.

2.  Bake Cookies
During Eric's eulogy (which by the way, rocked the house), he mentioned so many things about Judy but for me, the cookie baking remains a lingering memory.  Who doesn't prefer a home baked cookie over a store bought variety?  I can think of no better way to show someone you care by offering them a home-baked cookie (or other baked treat).    So, there you go, you have been warned...expect more cookies to be coming your way.

3.  Create a community
Sort of along the lines of staying in touch,  yet this is a broader lesson.  Honestly, we can't be in touch and close with everyone that we meet.  That dilutes the quality of our relationships..  But, we can create a sense of community that supports us when one is in a rough spot.  Judy's many communities were well represented on Friday.    Beyond her immediate family, I spotted members of Eric's work community, friends from Judy's volunteer efforts, many friends from the girls' school communities.  But the one that warmed my heart the most was seeing so many people from our own neighborhood community of Park View.  Maybe they had met Judy only while she was out walking her huge dogs through the open spaces.  Or perhaps they only knew of her through others stories of her fun filled ways. Perhaps they were part of her amazing Angel Tree.    It didn't really matter: here in the suburbs, where we often wonder does anyone know their neighbors any more, was a community that really came together.  It is critical that where ever we go, whatever we do...we connect with our community on some level.

4.  Be Happy
By far, the biggest lesson I have learned from Judy during our 14+ years of friendship is to Be Happy.  A couple years ago, long before this cancer became known, I shared my gratitude of Judy in one of  my Thanksgiving posts.    Those observations of her being able to find Joy in the Journey remain stronger than ever.  Being happy was Judy's trademark feature.  A few of us were included into her inner circle and know that she had plenty of reasons to be less than happy with the way her childhood abruptly ended when she was 14 and her mother passed away rather suddenly.  She did not let that define her adult experiences and went on to be part of one of the happiest marriages I have ever seen, raising 3 amazing, bright, and happy girls.

When she was diagnosed, her desire to be happy continued to be a request of hers.  As a slightly more cynical type, I thought at first this was a coping strategy more closely aligned with denial.  But, as I watched her story unfold, I realized, nope, this was simply Judy's way of approaching her illness.  Through this ability to be happy, even when there are 1001 reasons not be...she is showing her daughters that you can make it through tough times.

For Judy, her tough times have ended.  Her faith in God and her belief in the everlasting life assures us that she  continues to be happy.  We honor her and her friendship when we try to find that happiness and joy in this journey...even if we are a bit more of an Eeyore in our approach to life.

Judy...thank you for the friendship and the love...you will remain forever in my heart!
Ciao Chick!

Returning to a favorite

Last night, I completed a covert operation.  Having received word from my sources that someone in the House of Lish was struggling, I kidnapped Judy's middle daughter, Allie and took her over to "her other mom's" house (thanks Donna for letting us crash your family dinner).  Together we laughed, cried, told sassy stories (ok, that was mostly MY doing) and celebrated the gifts that come from making friends out of our neighbors.

This morning, recovering from the migraine I had during the night (was it the tears or the red wine?  Probably a little bit of both) I was reminded of this video.  I shared it a few years ago on my blog but now the sentiments are even more relevant given the struggles of the past 8 months.

As I sit in "waiting mode", it is good to be reminded of the truth...we will transcend!

*Tissues required

What I learned from Christmas 2011

  Try not to blink...because if you do...the little boy in the overalls, waiting anxiously for Santa to arrive, is soon ....

A young man of 12, willing and able to help his family and the neighbors deal with the close to the foot of snow that arrived just days before Christmas.  

 When all else fails, caramel corn that tastes just like Grandma used to make is sure to bring about some holiday cheer....

However, Things given too much sugar are likely to prove to be less than cooperative when you try to take the traditional Christmas Eve-new pajamas photo...

 And while they decided they were too old to build gingerbread houses...they are not too old to build a lego set (Thanks Auntie Laura, it was a HUGE hit!)

 When I set my mind to it....I can indeed channel my inner Martha and put together a delicious feast worthy of the title "food porn".  (notice, veggies without company?  better call the doctor, she must be sick!)

 Just like when they were younger, playing with the packaging is half the fun

 Santa not only sees all, he apparently smelled all!  

 The hubby...can indeed smile (he's got this week off from work...)

14 is not too old for a pillow pet...especially if you finally find a moose one!

As we finish out the year, I recall the blessings of this year....good food, good times, good friends and of course,  good health.  No matter what sadness and challenges cross our path, may I always find the courage to REMEMBER all that is good in my life!  

IKEA, the rest of the story...

It all started rather innocent...The Things were asking about new chairs for their video den.  I suggested we check out what they had at IKEA.
But first, we decided to grab a snack...

And, while I wasn't looking, I fear they over-indulged on Mountain Dew and Lingonberry  Soda.  For we hadn't gotten very far when younger Thing announced he needed to use the restroom.

As he ran towards the nearest (and maybe only) bathroom, he started to giggle "Man, those Swedes must have BIG bladders...I can't believe a store this big has only ONE bathroom?

Giddy Up, Crazy Child!

             And from there...we all got a case of the giggles.  I watched in wonder      and in delight as they entertained me with their silly and humorous ways.

Even I couldn't resist joining in the mayhem

Bucket Boys...

They were rather amused to find a doll that looked "just like us"....but of course, it couldn't stop there...they went on about "you didn't put us in pink striped onesies" did you?

Through the laughter of it all...I was reminded what the Christmas season should be about...spending time with those we love, those who make us laugh and those who are able to distract us, if just for a few hours from the worries of the day.  Thanks Boys!  You made my day!  

And sadly, we left IKEA empty handed...as the chairs were deemed "not right, Ma"...

Who needs Disney?

Friday, the Things were in r.a.r.e form as we visited IKEA. Not sure what it was, but the planets were all in alignment and all three of us were in sync with the sillies. I've tried to upload other photos but Blogger isn't wanting to play nice.

So instead, I shall share with you their grand finale....dancing and singing.
I suppose it was one of those "You had to be there..." but they really were wound up and crazy which just made me smile...for it was one of those days when all I could do was laugh it off.

3 days to go

Day 28: Thankful that by nature, I am a morning person. I really enjoyed my long 5 day weekend. I found myself staying up late and (gasp) sleeping in. I worried that returning to work this morning would be challenge (or stating it bluntly, re-entry was really going to s*ck). But the truth is, I am mostly a morning person. So while I wasn't awake when the alarm went off at 5:20 a.m., after

my hot shower and cup of coffee, I was set to face the challenges of work.

Judy (holding Thing 2) with her daughter Barb. October 1999

Day 29: Today I am thankful for my health. Oh sure, I have the random aches and pains, the occasional headaches and I am carrying more weight than I should for my height. But overall, I am healthy as is my hubby and my kids. Not everyone is so fortunate....we wait patiently to

hear whether Judy's body is responding to the chemo she has been receiving. Yesterday she was due to have some studies that would give the doctors insight into her condition. I simply cannot imagine what that must be like...to put your body through such challenges as chemo, to endure the testing process and then to wait for the phone to ring with the results.

Day 30: I'm thankful for online friends. While they aren't physically close enough to be a part of our every day lives, they are still as dear to me and precious as my neighborhood friends. Instead of gathering for coffee or joining in book club, we connect through comments on blogs, exchanges on message boards and emails that all offer those same words of encouragement, reassurance and thoughtful insight.

I have a quote that hangs in my craft room....Friends are the family you meet along the way. When my mom made that for me so many years ago, she surely didn't know about Internet friendships (as Al Gore hadn't invented the Internet yet)...but I am sure that she'd have to agree...it doesn't matter how the friendship starts...they really do play an important role in our lives.

Thank-you friends and family for joining me on this November journey of thankfulness....