Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Yesterday at work, another staff member mentioned her kids "trick" for ensuring a snow day. You apparently wear your pajamas inside out and stick a spoon under your pillow. When I told my guys about it, they, of course, were all over this idea.

As with most superstitions, they make little sense...but boy, were my boys happy to learn that yes indeed, today school was deemed a snow day.

Thing Two comes down this morning, and hands over the spoon....proudly reporting "You probably want to wash it good....I used it to scratch that embarrassing itch". always come back to the bodily functions or body parts, doesn't it?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Ever notice...

How paying bills isn't such a dreadful chore...when you have a job?

Finished week #1 as the long-term sub and I was still smiling/standing by the end of the week.

The house? Well...suffice to say, we're still under the "adjustment" phase of the juggling acts that working-outside the home moms have mastered.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

How to cure new car fever

This entry is written by me, but imagine it is from Hubby's perspective.
Step One: Listen to wife as she whines about her old van...where the check engine light goes on with increasing regularity.
Step Two: Offer to have old car serviced, smile and nod when she says "but it isn't worth that much, can't we just get a new car?"
Step Three: Wipe the drool off her chin as she shows you this is the car she dreams of owning.
Step Four: Share in her joy when she comes home and reports she's been offered her own clinic after just one week as a substitute nurse.
Step Five: Save your victory dance for when she comes home and admits "Maybe I don't want that car. Why leave a shiny new car in a high school parking lot? The last nurse had her windows busted by some disgruntled student after the nurse turned him in for using drugs".

Friday, March 12, 2010

Fear Factor

Not sure which is more scary
  1. Arriving at a clinic in a high school, being greeted by a cheerful and efficient assistant who informs you "we are so leaving right as the bell rings today." Ok, works for me, it is Friday after all (and I"m on my 7th straight day of working: that's a lot for this recent SAHM).
    She then drops the tidbit that "yeah, security called and apparently the Bloods and Crips aren't getting along as well as they had been and with it being Friday we just want to get out before they call us to bandage up the wounded".
2. Taking her recommendation to head straight out, I find that I had accidentally parked in
student lot. Stuck in the parking lot with HS kids (with no more than a couple years
driving experience under their belt)
, on a Friday....all trying to get out of dodge before the sh*t hits the fan. Or even more worrisome....on a Friday after new "product" had
recently been delivered (one kid needed a neuro check after his teacher sent him to the dean for suspected "use")

Yep, sometimes there really is no right answer!
*disclaimer, I was not at the neighborhood school today. 'nuf said!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


First day working my new job (subbing as a nurse at an area high school)...
  • 1st patient: tearful 15 year old, who took a test last night and it was positive. Now what she wonders?
  • 2nd patient: "Um, I need some alcohol for this"...and young girl sticks out her tongue, pierced and yeah....infected.
  • 3rd patient: "I'm intoxicated". Really? I didn't notice that you smell like a tavern, you are puking and it isn't even 11 a.m. This young 16 yr old was escorted via ambulance to the local hospital after his blood alcohol level registered 0.124.
  • 4th patient: Thing One......calling me on my way to my afternoon gig at another high school. Tearfully he tells me "Mom, I am so sorry....but this was my fourth tardy to theatre arts. I promise, it won't happen again".
Ok, so he isn't pierced, pregnant or puking......I think I should just count my blessings on this one!