Friday, October 27, 2006

Do Overs

This week's blog challenge:
  • Quote:
    If I had it all to do over again, I would do most all things differently. However, how would I know that, if I had not had the opportunity to do them the first time.-Janice Markowitz
  • In golf, there's this thing called a Mulligan. Basically, if your golfing buddies agree to let you have it, it's your chance to try again without a penalty. It's a do-over. We don't get many Mulligans in life. But if we did... If there was one Mulligan you could take - one do-over - what would it be?

Ok, here she goes with another tough challenge for me! But, I know that if I blow it off, I'll be ridden with challenge guilt. So, I"ll give it a try: at least I'll share with you why I find this task almost impossible to complete.

Oh, don't worry, I've done plenty of things wrong in my life. But, since I'm one of those glass half full types, spending time thinking of the would a, should a, could a's just doesn't go with the way I look at life.

In terms of dating, sure, there were "fish that got away", but as I'm sure my sister will back me up when I say, they all needed to be caught and released! And from those experiences, I knew when Hubby came along, he was one worth hanging on to. I caught him and have no intentions of releasing him. (even with Midlife Crisis v2.1)

When my mom was in the end stages of her battle with cancer, sure I could have asked Uncle Sam for a compassionate re-assignment to here in Denver. I could have been within a short drive to her place in Wyoming. A Do-Over I still ponder over some 19 years later. But, that eternally optimistic side of me says "well, yes, but if you weren't at Ft. Bragg, you'd not have met JandL who later introduced you to Hubby". Nor, would I have learned that very important lesson that friends are the family you meet along the way. During my Army days, living far away from family as many of us do, you become really close to those that share your plight. Would I have experienced that same life lesson if I'd exercised my "do over" for the decision I made to stay put? I really don't think I would have.

Same with other matters in my every day mom life. Just today, I went all "tea kettle" on someone who, although she probably deserved it for other things, today's action didn't warrant me reaching a boiling point and screeching at her. Based on past experiences, once I realized I'd goofed up (again, because I try to learn from those Uh Oh moments in life), I knew I'd better take the high road and just admit my error and get through it as fast as I could. Having a do-over would have saved me the embarrassment of apologizing. But, I sort of feel like it is a good skill to practice , how to apologize graciously.

So, where does that leave me? Well, I guess...The one do-over I wish I could take was when Bill Gates called me up way back when and asked me to invest in this little thing called the internet I should have said "sure". Instead, I said "Nah, people hate to type, the idea is sure to be a flop!"

(and if you heard Nathan Lane on the View this morning, you'll know I"m totally stealing his line!)

In the words of Maya Angelou who once wrote of herself, "You did what you knew how to do, and when you knew better, you did better." I try to make that one of my philosophies of who I am. Looking Back is fine. Looking Back with regret is going get you nothing but a whole heap of sadness!


tz said...

Amen sistah!

Diana Sioux said...

Martha, you're right! Great minds do blog alike. This is why I never, ever read anyone else's challenge posts before doing my own. I know others' words would lure my mind off in that direction and I don't want that to happen. Funny thing is, I can't really say that I'm a glass half full kind of girl like you. Just, in thinking it over, I realized that those hard lessons helped form who I am. While I'm not always content with me as I am, I wouldn't want to make too many major changes.